De-Escalation
De-escalation
“Uh no! You ain’t gonna talk to me like that! I won’t be disrespected like that. I didn’t do nothing. My momma texted me and I was answering her.” Monica Michelson said before Mrs. Logan could finish her sentence. If she had been able to finish, Mrs. Logan would have said, “Please put your phone away.” What she actually said was, “Ple,...”
Mrs. Logan immediately felt a surge of adrenaline course through her body. She warmed from her core to her extremities quickly. Her heart rate increased noticeably. Her breathing became shallow. Fighting the instinct to lash back. To put Monica Michelson in her proper place as a student breaking a rule. To protect her own status as “the teacher.” Instead she closed her eyes and counted to ten slowly. She weighed her options: push back hard and meet hostility with hostility, try to get Monica to go quietly to the hallway for a more private discussion, send Monica to the office and let the assistant principal deal with her, or deflect the tension and walk away.
When she reached eleven, Mrs. Logan opened her eyes and looked at Monica as confidently and calmly as she could. What she saw was a fifteen year old girl in distress. Monica’s eyes were wide and wild. She had a death grip on her phone. Her left knee was bouncing up and down so hard that it shook both her own desk and the desk in front of her. Her upper lip was perspiring. And that’s when the thought came to Mrs. Logan unbidden, “What kind of trauma would be necessary to produce that?” The thought brought immediate changes in Mrs. Logan. Her body temperature, pulse and breathing returned to normal. She realized that she didn’t know the answer to her own question. She doubted whether Monica herself could articulate an answer. But, Mrs. Logan did now know what to do.
She said, “Monica, we will need to talk about this, but not while we are both this emotional. I’ll be here tomorrow morning and 7:45. I’ll see you then.” With that she turned and walked away.
Monica MIchelson sat in silence for about fifteen seconds. She muttered unintelligibly under her breath. She tried to engage a few classmates in further conversation about disrespect and unfairness. She found no takers.
Mrs. Logan moved across the room to check the progress of other students. Monica Michelson went back to scrolling Tik Tok.
Mrs. Logan had no illusions that Monica would show up at 7:45 the next morning. But, that could be dealt with tomorrow. Mrs. Logan would document the outburst and the no show.
When Monica come to class the following afternoon, Mrs. Logan was waiting just outside the door greeting students as they arrived. Mrs. Logan looked at Monica and said, “Good afternoon. I missed you this morning.”
Monica said, “I didn’t have a ride, Miss.”
Mrs. Logan nodded. Monica went quietly into class where she remained subdued, if not engaged. Mrs. Logan was relieved to have more civil behavior on display, and she braced herself for the inevitable next time.
